Chapter 73 – Lose

Nef’s POV


I’ve never felt something so painful in my life. I don’t mean physical pain. I could feel by body spasm. I could feel the blood dripping down my leg, staining my jeans. There were cramps. It felt like my body was squeezing itself. That didn’t hurt. What hurt was I could feel myself losing the baby. The nurse and the doctors told me there was nothing they could do. They couldn’t stop it.

When I first found out that I was pregnant I though the world was coming to an end. I was in no way prepared for this. It wasn’t planned and I wasn’t at a point in my life where I could be a mother. Over the last several weeks that had all changed. Sasha and I worked together to plan out what would happen and what we would do. In a sense we were forced to grow up and make changes so that we could welcome this baby into this world. I hadn't been ready but I needed to get ready and so I did. I want this baby. I love this baby even though we’d never met.

You know that feeling of having something ripped away from you after holding on so tightly? That’s what this felt like. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. After while, everything went numb. I couldn’t feel anything.

My mom and dad were there. Sasha must have called them. I heard when the doctor told Sasha that we’d lost the baby. I heard him scream and I heard him cry. I was lying on my side when he came in the room. He put his hand on my shoulder and I pulled away from him violently.

“Leave,” I said.

“Nef, please.” His voice was thick with what I could only guess was grief.

“Leave!” I shouted.

My dad ushered him out of the room, telling him to go home. I felt my mom crawl into the bed with me and wrap her arms around me. I asked her why but she couldn’t tell me. I asked her how he could do this to me but she couldn’t tell me that either. I stay overnight in the hospital and my mother never left my side. When she took me home she placed me in her bed and held me while I cried.



Sasha’s POV


Im knocked on the door. He’d come to pick up Nef’s car. It was still at my house. I wasn’t there so my parents told him I was at Ovi’s. We’d lost the baby and she’d told me to leave the hospital. I waited at the hospital until well into the night. Her father, Adjo, had been sitting outside with me. I told him everything, from Nadiya showing up, to our argument, to me rushing her to the hospital. He was there with me when the doctor’s told me that they couldn’t help. He was there with me when I collapsed on the floor. He was there with me when I tried to talk Nef.

“She’s hurting right now. Give her time. Her mother and I will take care of her.”

I sat by the phone hoping for a call that never came.

“I’m here to get her car. Mom and dad took her home from the hospital. She’s not doing so well,” Im told me.

I wanted to follow him. I wanted to go to her but he said that she needed time. She needed space. Days went by. I left her message after message begging her to call me, begging her to let me know that she was okay. Almost a week went by and I still hadn’t heard anything from her.

I drove to her apartment where I talked to Jesse.

“She hasn’t been here. We haven’t talked to her in almost a week. Her mom came and told us what happened with the baby and that Nef needed time to get better.”

I drove to Baltimore. It was late when I got there but I didn’t care. I pounded on the door until someone came to answer the door.

“I need to see her,” I said to Adjo

“She’s not here.”

“I go to her apartment. Jesse say she not there for almost a week. She here and I want to see her. I need to see her.”

He pulled me inside and I ran upstairs to her room. The bed was made and it looked like no one had been there for a least a few days.

“Her mother took her. They left a few days ago.”

“Where did they go?”

“Egypt.”

I’ll go there. I’ll find her and bring her back. I was desperate for her. I couldn’t lose her too.

“No,” Adjo said. “You won’t be able to find her. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

I sat in my car. I called her phone again but there was still no answer. I left what must have been the 50th message.

“Nef, I go to your apartment but you not there. I go to your house and Adjo tell me that you left. He say you need time but I need you. I not lose you too. I can’t. Please Nef. Please come back. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”